Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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