P.S. I can't hear my feet
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
