oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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