what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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