i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize