The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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