she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
