I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize