Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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