i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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