This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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