Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she looked like the before picture.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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