butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Pooping to opera.
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