Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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