The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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