tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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