hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
