i just had sex bonerless
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize