Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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