I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
