My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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