I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
