I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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