You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize