Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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