She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
