if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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