Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
