He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My vagina is officially offended.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
