Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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