Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
