Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
