Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And then he peed in my hair
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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