I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
