But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
