i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
