I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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