trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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