when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
