Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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