i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
