whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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