Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
