Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize