I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
