I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
