Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
