I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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