its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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