Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm like, not good at living.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
