i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
