i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
