dude i'm inner monologue high
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
