he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I didn't notice because vodka
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize