You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
