its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
