Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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