Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
