u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think your dad took our porno
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
