Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
